sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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