So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
