He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
