He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
