like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
