and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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