Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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