I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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