even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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