no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize