I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Rumble strips road head = magical
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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