I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
