Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
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