3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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