Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
