so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
