im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
