i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
two words...techno handjob
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
