You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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