i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
