escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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