i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
