I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
