if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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