Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
