I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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