Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Randomize
