its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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