I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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