Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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