And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
