Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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