Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
