Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
