So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
