just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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