What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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