I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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