omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
