Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize