Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
