Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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