I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize