She is in my trunk
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
