One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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