Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
