brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
