that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
