She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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