I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
