nut hugger
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
