OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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