Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I wish they made helmets for livers.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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