wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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