I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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