nut hugger
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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