Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
