guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
