People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
