He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
