She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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