i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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