So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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