Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize