There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
