Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
