omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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