Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
