looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
