if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
