Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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